The Spanking Question – from Amy

Thanks, Amy!  Love this question.

What was the first spanking you ever received as an adult and would you say it was playful? Sexual? A punishment?  Oh, sadly, the first spankings I received as an adult were the result of sharing my secret liking for spankings with some very vanilla guy I was dating, who then tried to spank me because he figured I’d like it and it would turn me on.  It did turn me on, but being spanked by someone who doesn’t really like doing it and who doesn’t know what he’s doing at all is not as much fun as those of us who crave spankings might dream of.

On the other hand, my first actual spanking by someone who considered himself a Dom for real, and who liked to spank women, was a lovely experience.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.  And the best spanking I ever had – well, really, it was “impact play” was from a Dom at a dungeon.  We had been dating and he was really experienced so he’d already spanked me and tied me up and done all kinds of things.

He attached me to a St. Andrews cross.  Just my wrists, he left my ankles unfettered.  He told me if what he did “hurt more than I expected it to” that I should raise one leg off the ground, to let him know, because in the dungeon he wouldn’t be able to hear my safe word.


He started with a flogger, I remember that, but i couldn’t tell you what else he used on me, just that i slipped into subspace without ever feeling real pain and just soared for a while.  The entire room disappeared.

All i was aware of was this amazing sensation of being in my body completely and totally present to the moment, but just focused on me.  Nothing else existed other than the feelings i was having.  When I came back to earth, he was untying me, and my ass was red and welted, but i had still not felt any real pain.

When i said that to him, “but it never even hurt, Sir,” in tones of amazement, he said, “Of course not, it wasn’t supposed to,” adding  “Come on, carry this blanket over here and I’ll wrap you up,” or something like that.   He left me just trembling with submissive longings…

Sigh.  It was lovely.

Thanks for the question!!





Watch This – Dungeon Fantasy 1

“Do you wish it were you?” he asks.

Without taking my eyes off the scene unfolding before me, i shrug.  “I dunno.  Maybe.”

“Is that how you answer me?” he asks, and there is laughter in his tone, but also a sharpness that had not been there before.

i turn to look at him.  “I’m sorry, Sir,” i say quickly.  “I – i really don’t know if i wish that was me.  Maybe, but I’m not sure, Sir.”

He nods, “That’s a better answer.  Let’s watch here a few more minutes, then we’ll move to something else.”

I turn my attention back to the woman in front of us.  She is at one of the stations in the dungeon, on her knees.  A man is fucking her from behind, another man is seated in front of her and i know she is sliding her mouth up and down his cock, although all i can see is the rhythmic motion of her head.  We are close enough that i can hear her moans, slightly muffled by the cock in her mouth.

The man next to me fists his hand in my hair, holding my head in place.  A whimper escapes me.  “What do you think you might like about that?” he asks.

“Oh,” my mouth suddenly so dry i can barely speak, “oh, i think, i think it would feel very -” i lick my lips, “very , um full.”

He releases my hair and offers me a glass of water.  “Drink.”  He holds it to my lips – well, I could not have taken it since my hands are cuffed and attached to the belt around my waist, so he holds it to my lips.

I drink, gratefully.   And remember to say,”thank you, Sir,” when he withdraws the glass.

“I think,” he says, “that it would feel more full if she also had a butt plug in her ass.  Keep watching her – don’t you think that would be even more full?”

“Ye-yes, Sir,” i say and my voice is shaky.

“Have you ever done that?” he asks.  “Been filled in all your holes at the same time?”

“No, Sir, i haven’t.”  i am shaking my head too, “no, Sir.”

“Well, not yet,” he says, and i hear the smile in his voice.  “Do you think you will – do you think you would like it?”  And then he adds, “‘I don’t know’ is not an acceptable answer, girl.  I’m asking if you think you would like it – obviously either way your answer might be wrong.  What do you think?  Would you like to be fucked with a butt plug in your ass and another man’s cock filling your mouth?”

i don’t think i can answer, but i remember to turn and look at him.  There is something about his face, his eyes on me with such curiosity, and so i say, “yes, yes, Sir, i think maybe i would.”

And then i’m embarrassed – i wish the floor would open up and swallow me, i can’t believe i just said that and what kind of person would even think they might like that, much less say it out loud?  But he smiles and says, “Good girl,” and all the shame slips away and i smile back.

“Thank you, Sir,” i say, and he nods like he understands why i would say that.

“Come on,” he says, “let’s go see what you might like in the way of being spanked.”  He stands, and i manage to stand too, although i’m a bit wobbly, between the heels i’m wearing and my hands being secured at my sides.

I’m wearing a corset that raises my breasts, as if offering them, and it’s obvious through the sheer material of my dress that my nipples are hard.  He glances at them and grins.  Bring his hand up toward my right nipple, coming closer as if he might pinch it, or flick it.  My nipple tingles, getting harder, anticipating the touch.

He stops.  His hand stops, a breath away from my nipple.  “Do you think you would like it if I touched your nipple?”

i swallow, barely able to breathe, looking at his hand, still so close to my nipple which is  poking at the material of my dress like it’s inviting him to play with it.  “Yes, Sir,” i say, swallowing hard again, “I would like it.”

He smiles, and drops his hand.  “Good girl,” he says, and i almost whimper again, with desire and longing.

“Follow me,” he says.  “See if you can stay just a step or two behind me.  I think Ms. Constance is going to start her caning demonstration in a minute.  I don’t want you to miss that.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, following behind him like a baby duck, trying to stay close enough without actually stepping on his heels.

The Fantasy Begins II

Check-in is smooth, and the room is nice.  i like having a microwave and refrigerator, even if i probably won’t use them.  I set my suitcase on the ottoman and open it, ready to unpack.  But i pause – what did the text say?

Glancing at my phone – oh, yes.  It’s pretty clear.

When you get to your room take off your clothes.  Then text me.

It doesn’t say anything about settling in or unpacking.  i slip off my shoes, always a pleasure.  Then my t-shirt.  i hesitate with my hands on my waist, ready to pull down my black capri pants.  The sliding closet doors are mirrored, i can see my reflection. In my not-fancy black bra and pants, thicker through the waist than i want to be, i look at myself.

i want to hurry up and get undressed.  i want to do what he said.  But i stop to look at myself in the mirror, at my eyes.  They are hazel, more green than brown tonight.   “Do you really want to do this?” i ask them.  Raising my eyebrows, feeling the question.  Then i grin.  “Yep.”

And i finish stripping.

Naked, i pause.  Ok, now i’m supposed to text him – text him what?  I start punching in letters –

“i’m nak

and then i erase that, he said text him, he didn’t say i had to announce i was naked.

 “Hi!”  🙂

i wait, gazing at my phone.  And wait.  It seems like forever, a minute passes.  A bit more.  i text again:

“I’m in the room now.”

And i wait.  Damn it.  Why isn’t he answering me? Am i supposed to do something else?  Should i just go ahead and start getting ready?  Why is he taking so long?  Damn it.  Maybe 5 minutes have actually gone by, it feels like for-ev-er.  i can’t resist.

“I took off my clothes.  What am i supposed to do now?”

I have barely hit “send” when my phone rings – but it’s not the phone, it’s Facetime. Omg.  This man i’ve never met wants to Facetime with me while i’m standing here naked.  i hesitate -but just for a second.

i answer the call.  “Hello,” i say, and my voice sounds uncertain to my own ears.  He’s looking at me, the face i’ve gotten to know on my screen.  He looks serious.  Intent.

“Three minutes,” he says.  “You waited three minutes before you had to text again.  For the third time.”  He voice is low key, he’s not upset, he’s just noticing.  Just letting me know.

i’m a little bit embarrassed – “It seemed like a long time,’ i say, and then, with less certainty, “i didn’t know what you wanted me to do.”

He grins, “And couldn’t wait to find out.  That’s ok.  You agreed to follow my directions tonight, are you still willing to do that?”

“Yes – yes, of course i am,” enthusiastic now, i’m ready to take action, ready to please.  Just don’t make me wait around for 3 minutes!

“Then let me help you learn some of the patience you’ll need to be able to please me,” he says, and his voice is silky smooth.  i feel my anxiety inching up again.  Frigging emotional roller coaster, what now?

“First of all,” he goes on, “The correct response is, “yes, sir,’  There will be a punishment later for not saying that – just a token to remind you.  For now, I want to hear you say “Yes, Sir, I am willing to follow your directions,” four times, slowly and clearly.  Go ahead.”

So i do, i say “Yes, Sir, i am willing to follow your directions,” four times.  As i say the words, i can feel my body changing – i don’t know how to explain it.  You know, it’s like i’m softening, opening somehow.  i’m looking at him, looking at him on my phone while i say it, and it’s like i’m falling down into his eyes.

When i finish, he smiles just a tiny bit, just the corners of his mouth turn up, but his eyes look pleased.   i feel this urge to please him in some other way, to offer him more, but i don’t, i just wait.    I have my camera focused on my face, he can’t see that i’m naked and he hasn’t asked.

I’m expecting him to, but instead he says, “When it’s hard for you to wait, here’s something you can try.  We’ll try it in a minute, but listen to the directions first.  I’m going to have you bend over the bed so your breasts are resting on the bed.  You can lean on your forearms so your head and shoulders are propped up a bit.  You’ll fix the camera on a pillow across from you so that you don’t have to hold it and I can see your face.  Do you understand that?”

“I – I think so,” i say, adding quickly, “Sir.”

“Go ahead and try it,” he says.

It’s easier than it sounds actually and it doesn’t take long until he’s looking at my face as i lay with my torso on the bed, raised up on my forearms, looking at him.  My hips are higher than the bed, so my ass is raised behind me.

“Open your legs wide,” he says.

i spread my feet farther apart, which also exposes my pussy, and i feel a bit of cool air between my legs.  i shiver.  He smiles.

“Now,” he says, “We’ll start with your hands.  Just take a moment to think about your hands.  Feel them in your mind, be aware of them.”

Immediately, i  become super aware of my hands.  I can sense the skin, feel the fingers.  They begin  to tingle just a bit.

He says,  “Now, tell me a way you can please me with your hands.”

And it’s easy.  i smile at him, and say, “I can caress you with my hands, Sir.”  He nods.  “Yes, when I give you permission, you can please me by caressing me with your hands.”

I sigh, my breathing is slow and even.  Yes.  i can do that.

“What about your arms?” he asks.  “How can you please me with your arms?”

For a moment, i don’t know.  Then i smile, “i can hug you with my arms, Sir.”

“Yes,” he says, smiling gently, “When I give you permission, you can please me by hugging me with your arms.”

I think i  might die with the slow meticulous progress we make.  With my mouth? With my mouth, i can lick and suck you, Sir.”  And his response each time, Yes, when I give you permission, you can…”

Some of them are not so easy.  With my feet?  What can i do to please him with my feet?  He waits, until finally i say, haltingly, “With my feet, Sir, i can walk so i can bring you something to eat or drink?” and he smiles, “Yes, when I give you permission, you can please me by bringing me something to eat or drink – or rope to tie you with – or the belt to beat you…”

i shiver.  And we go on.

He leads.  “Think about your ass.  How can you please me with your ass, olivia?”  “With my ass,  I can please you by – offering it to you – for spanking, Sir?”  And so on…

By the time we finished, i am drained.   Trembling, my pussy hotter than it has been in years, my body totally relaxed -as if – as if it does not even belong to me anymore.  My nipples as tender as if i’d been wearing nipple clamps.

“Do you want to cum?” he asks, and i’m quick with an eager, “YES, SIR!” but he laughs, “No.  Not now.  You don’t cum until I give you permission.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, and in that moment, it seems perfectly reasonable to me.


At the Coffee Shop

I’m writing this from a new coffee shop – new to me, that is.  It’s a cozy, let’s-drink-tea-and-sing-Kumbaya kind of place.   Lots of wood, esoteric wall hangings and baked goods with all natural ingredients.

The first thing I notice is the couple sitting to the right of the door.  He is a middle aged man, hair beginning to gray, wearing a suit.  She is blonde – probably about the same age, but I can only see her from the back.  She is wearing blue leggings and a blue top.   He is sitting in a high backed chair.  Sitting straight, but looking comfortable, his back against the back of the chair.   He looks at ease, but serious, intent on what he’s saying.

She sits in front of him on an ottoman, scooted forward so she’s very close to him, but lower.  He is clearly above her.  His legs are crossed,  her legs are open, one on either side of his chair.  Her back is straight, and she seems very still.

I take all this in at a glance, and am suddenly quite sure he’s a Dominant.  Capital D, not just a bossy man.  I am sure that she is submissive – whether or not she’s his sub is not so clear.  I would have thought he’d want her in a skirt.

I don’t stop to stare, even though I kind of want to.  But I glance back at them as I’m ordering coffee.   He has leaned forward and they’re kissing, his hand fisted in her hair at the nape of her neck.  He’s leaning forward, but not down, so her face is upturned, stretching a bit to reach him.

I am suddenly wet with longing for those moments.

Fantasy Moment 10-18

Naked, of course, even though i am more comfortable when he lets me wear something.  Never anything that would get in the way of his hands or mouth, not for more than the second it takes to push the material aside, to pull it off.  Never clothing that would get in the way of his cock.  But no clothes at all today.

It is warm in the room, and warmer still because he has just finished strapping me.  He has had me bent over the arm of the big over-stuffed chair for a long time, spanking with his hand first until i’m well warmed-up, and  then with his belt.

i love the belt, the feel of leather on my ass, the sound it makes slashing through the air, the crack as it lands on my ass, and the sting.   So i’m feeling a little floaty when he makes me stand up, but i’m quick to respond to his gesture to open my legs.

Standing with legs apart shoulder width, facing him.  He pauses, his gaze looking me up and down, then, “Hands on top of your head,” he says.

This moves my arms and hands out of the way, raises my breasts.  It is one of the most vulnerable positions for me.  He pinches each of my nipples, hard, and I bite my lip, wondering what he will do next.  His mouth is gentle, warm and wet, his tongue caressing one nipple until i moan before he moves to the other.

As he pulls away, the air is cool on my damp skin.  i feel even more exposed, every part of my body sensitized and open to his touch.  My ass tingles from the whipping, but even the flesh on my arms is aroused.  With both hands on my head, i feel like i’m offering my body, and desperately want his touch.

He pinches both nipples again, making me squirm, and laughs.  “Wait here,” he says, and i watch him walk out of the room.

i want to cry out, and maybe i do, just a little bit, i really don’t want him to leave.  But he’s gone, quickly, with out a glance back.   No need to look, he knows i’ll be here waiting, just as he left me.  Ready for whatever pleasure or pain he brings, whenever he’s ready to play with me again.


Just a Story

i dreamt last night (this part is true) that i was with two men – maybe having coffee with them.  They were Doms but didn’t know i was submissive.  Then one of them asked me, “Well, if you know about BDSM, do you have a role?  What are you in that world?”

And i felt all shy and i said, “well, i’m – you know – i’m a sub, i guess, but…”  And he said, “A sub?”  And i said, “yes,” but i couldn’t look at him, i said, “i’m submissive, i guess, but i haven’t, you know, i haven’t done anything  in a really long time.  i guess i’m still submissive, i don’t know.  Can you be submissive if you’re not doing anything?”  And i couldn’t make eye contact, couldn’t look at him.

Then the dream switched to something else and eventually i woke up.  But i thought about this:

We are in a coffee shop, my latte untouched in front of me.  The man across from me is a stranger, except for a few exchanges on the internet.  He is better-looking than i would have thought from his picture, good looking for an old guy.  i wonder if he’s disappointed in my looks, but i will not ask. 

He looks at me with curiosity, and i mentally squirm a bit under that calm gaze.  “So do you think you’re submissive?” he asks, “or know that you are?  There’s a difference.”

“Yes,” I say, resisting a slight urge to add “Sir.”   “I know there is.  I – I know I’m submissive, at least I was in the past, for sure in the past.  Can that change?”

He smiles, just the tiniest bit, mostly with his eyes.  “I don’t know.  But it seems unlikely, doesn’t it?  How would that work, if it could change?  Something to think about.” He pauses just for a second, and adds with a slight nod, “Drink your coffee though.  Go ahead.”

Even as i reach for my latte, i know he is making a point, and i can’t stop myself, i grasp the cup, fully aware that i’m obeying him.  Watching him even as I lift the cup to my lips, i see his mouth twitch, trying not to smile.  i feel like it takes me hours to take a sip and return the cup to the saucer.  He watches me, cat and mouse, i think.  Damnit.

“How would that work,” he asks again.  “If you were submissive and enjoyed being told what to do, enjoyed following directions,” he pauses and I feel heat between my legs, as if my pussy is waking up.  Damn it.  He goes on, “If you enjoyed being spanked, lightly, for pleasure, or maybe harder, to please your Sir, and even harder maybe,  for punishment sometimes,” and my pussy clenches.  Like a stupid novel, i think, and i make myself sit still.

He smiles, and i think he can see it on my face, he knows that i’m responding.  I drop my eyes, still trying to shield myself, trying to hide my reaction.  

“Still not sure whether you’re submissive?” he asks, and i can hear amusement in his voice.  i shake my head, still looking at the table, at my coffee, anywhere but at him.  “Let’s try an experiment,” he says, and my brain goes into panic mode – an experiment?  doesn’t he see he already has, no, i really already know, this is enough, and my pussy clenches hard, i’m getting wet, damnit damnit, and i can’t respond.

“I won’t do anything you don’t agree to, you know that, right?’  i nod, i do know that.  i am not afraid of him that way, only afraid that he’ll see my soul.

“I want your wrist,” he says.  “Your left wrist.  Do you agree to let me have your wrist for a minute or two?”  

“Yes,” i whisper, withholding the “Sir” that almost slips out.

“Put your left wrist on the table,” he says.  I obey, feeling heat between my legs as I lay my arm on the table, wrist towards him.

“You have this Fitbit on your arm, I’m going to take it off,” he says.  “Turn your arm over, please.”  I like that he says please, although I would have done it anyway.  I turn my arm so the more sensitive skin of my inner arm is exposed.

His fingers on the Fitbit bracelet, the first time he’s touched me.  I shiver as he pulls it open, feeling as if he’s stripping me of my clothes.  He does it carefully, intentionally.  Not too slowly, and not as if he’s in a hurry.  I tremble a bit.

He moves the Fitbit aside, “I’ll put it here,” he says, placing it next to his coffee cup.  Both his hands are beside my wrist now, one on each side.  I’m watching, caught in an intense awareness of how close his hands are to touching me.  My palm is turned up, inner wrist exposed.

He slides his left hand under my wrist.  His right hand strokes the vein that runs to my hand.  i whimper, just a tiny whimper, hoping he can’t hear it..  His left hand encircles my wrist, closing on it in the same way that a handcuff would.  i am being held, contained.   

i cannot breathe, i swallow, loudly, i think.  His grasp on my wrist is firm, not tight, but solid.  i can not get away unless he choses to let me go.  He is watching me, i am trying not to react, but he waits.  Watching.

My nipples tingle.  My panties are drenched.  i have not felt this way in so long.  Tears fill my eyes and spill over.

His voice is gentle.  “What do you think?  Are you submissive?”  i want to answer, open my mouth, but nothing comes out.  “Answer me,” he says, and there is just enough command in his voice to allow me to obey.

“Yes, yes, sir,” i say.  i glance up and see such kindness in his eyes.

“Say it,” he says.  “Say, i am a submissive girl.”   My mouth is so dry, my heart is pounding, but he tightens his grasp on my wrist just a fraction and somehow that settles me.  i don’t have to worry or decide, i just have to obey.

“i am a submissive girl,” i say, and i feel the truth of it, my body relaxes into the knowledge, my heart opens and i long to offer myself.

“Good girl,” he says, with a smile, and a shiver of pleasure runs through me.