Another Early Morning

Another early morning watching the sunrise at the beach. Can’t complain about that.

Went out for dinner last night and had the best hush puppies ever. They were fabulous. And instead of  serving them with ketchup, they serve them with melted butter.  You dip them.  And why not? They are really just big fried bread balls. It was amazing. I thought of Jz and her liking for hush puppies, and wished she was there.

Project for the day is doing stuff around the house. I have two sets of shelves to put together, and one set that needs new tacks in the back of it. Once I’ve done that, I can really finish organizing. Good times ahead!

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FFF 6-15

I already broke my big news – that i hit the 160 mark.  I’m still seeing that number some of the time – new range from the 162s to (happy dance) 160.  But I need to get back to walking more or I’m going to lose that.  I’m going to –  – lose the gains I’ve made.  Or gain my losses?  Yep, that.  (Which for some reason cracks me up – gaining losses and losing gains…)  Anyhow…

My success is lovely even though it means i’m not making progress in recognizing that it’s not all about weight.  Or – I do recognize that, i just don’t truly feel it.

“It’s not about weight or size or fat—weight is a measure of gravity and nothing else—it’s about living joyfully inside your body, as it is, today.”
― Emily Nagoski, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Anyhow.  Yeah.  27,000 steps this week is SAD, and I just need to do better.  I’m not in the flow of my new schedule yet, and I need to check my priorities.

There is probably not going to be an actual date night this week – with Sir’s son and GF here, “we” are taking a back seat to entertaining them a bit.  I’m not complaining – I really like them both and enjoy spending time with them – as long as Sir and i don’t slip back into old ways.

I’m making tiny bits of progress on the house – which is better than none, right?  Yep, I thought so.

And i’m sleepy – having company also means staying up too late, and then having to get up early the next day.   I’m super glad it’s Friday, i’m ready for the work week to be over and the weekend to start.  We have a couple of fun activities planned for the weekend, so that’s exciting.

Hope you have good times ahead of you too!!

“Life’s short. Live passionately.”
~~ Marc A. Pitman

All About Time

I made a serious schedule for myself last night.  I’ve got so much going on, i figured i’d better work out exactly how i was going to make everything happen.  Realistically.

It reminded me of the days of my youth, when my kids were little and we didn’t have much money.  I would occasionally try to work out a serious, for real budget so we could make ends meet.   But no matter how i laid it out, which ends i stretched, or which expenses i reduced, i couldn’t realistically make ends meet.  Um, because they didn’t.

In the same way, i now have a morning schedule that doesn’t include showers.  Quit laughing – seriously, that’s a problem.

Of course, there is enough time for real, for everything i need to do.  The problem is that some of that time is after my regular work day instead of before and my chances of really doing it after work are much lower than if i do it before.  After work, i begin to wind down, the kids (yes those amazing grand-kids) are home from their summer programs, there’s dinner, Sir is through working and i’m tired.  i don’t wanna do anything except family stuff.

Which – by the way – my daughter and the kids arrived safely – and are settling in beautifully.  So far so good.

Anyhow. All this explains why you’re not seeing me here as much – this is not even in my schedule.  I took time off my half-hour for Facebook to be here.

Date night was good though – and i did tell him about the stroking my hair thing and it seems that he was able to hear me because actions speak louder than words.  Also, he had bought a new belt and we discovered that our bedroom is apparently sound proof enough or far enough away that the slap of a belt is not audible to the rest of the family. AND it’s clear that i still love that feeling of that slap of leather as much as i ever did.

We have company this week – Sir’s son and his girlfriend are visiting, so that will be nice.

And now i’m 5 minutes behind schedule – 6 by the time i publish this for sure.  Time for mindfulness practice.  Quit laughing.  I wish i could find an image of someone in sitting meditation poised on a treadmill.   7 minutes behind now because i googled meditation on a treadmill.

i think date night is Friday again, so yay for carving out time for the things that really matter.

images

 

FFF – 6-8-18

It’s looking good for the team this week – ok, there is no team, it’s looking good for me.  Apparently, grand-parenting is better than a diet, better than a fitbit.  Or maybe it’s the prospect of spankings and such in my future.  It’s not because of my step count, which was about 44,000 – better than last week, but not hitting my goal.

But whatever the reason, this morning, I hopped on the scale and saw a number i haven’t seen since who-knows-when.  (I know, i am more than a number, my self-worth does not depend on my weight, right?)  But it was 160, y’all.  Ok, 160.6, but still.  It’s pretty darn exciting.

I could mention that I’m having some issues at work and, for once, instead of eating more, i’m eating less.  Very odd, right?  Usually, anxiety drives me straight to the food.  Instead, i’m just not even hungry.  Don’t misunderstand me, i’m still eating, just less than normal.  So there’s that.

My non-obese weight goal is 148.  So i still have a long way to go – 12 pounds.  I’ve lost 12 pounds though, so i guess i’m halfway there!!  Ok, that’s good reason to celebrate.

In other news, I’m having some serious issues at work.  Ok, i already mentioned that, but consider this an indication of how serious it is.  Sigh.  But what a great opportunity to find my Zen, right?  Feel free to send me positive energy and good luck, cause i can use it.

 

Don’t laugh…

Y’all remember when i was fantasizing about some kind of Dom mentor who would help me focus on meeting my goals?  Well, I was looking at OPBs yesterday (Other People’s Blogs) and saw a mention of a Spanking Life Coach.  I can’t find the link to that particular blog again, or i would give them credit, but i did find the Spanking Life Coach.

She goes by Harriet Marwood, which is apparently the name of a fictional governess in a Victorian novel.  But Ms. Marwood, spanking life coach, appears to be for real.   Her description of what she does could have been written with me in mind.

The profile of the average Spanking Lover is that of a highly successful, productive, assertive, results oriented individual. So successful, in fact, that he or she often is too busy to focus on his or her own PERSONAL GOALS.

 Does this sound like you? Are you woefully behind with things like:

·        starting that diet,

·        getting back in shape,

·        sorting out the mess in your apartment

·        organizing your office so that you begin delegating more or so that you don’t waste so much of your own time with nonsense

·        writing that book you know you have in you

·        or… allocating time to begin whatever that particular project is for you

 

Some practical lifestyle improvements are best turned over to an objective third party who can dispassionately look at your circumstances, assess your time, abilities, and needs and prioritize for you – creating a program in which the practical incremental steps are mapped out in small do-able chunks that painlessly add up to results.. IF, you follow the plan.

 

And SOMETIMES, you need to know that if you rationalize, justify delays or procrastinate, thereby NOT following the prescribed plan, there will be CONSEQUENCES. Consequences that are left to the prevue of that objective third party, and therefore will be administered faithfully and appropriately.

By now, you’ve surely realized what these consequences are: a strict, stern, sound spanking.

Of course, it looks like i’m not in need of those services at this point (yay!)  If i can get soundly spanked at home, there’s no need to look elsewhere.  And i don’t live in NY, so i couldn’t actually see her anyhow.  Plus, i wanted a male life coach cause i’m just that hetero.  But it sort of delights me to see that Ms. Marwood exists and is offering this valuable service – and to see that apparently, other people think it’s a good idea too.

Btw, this is not the type of life coach i’m going to be.  Just for the record.  But you already knew that, right?

 

 

Bedtime

Almost ready for bed here, worn out from grandparenting today, being on vacation and therefore available to do all kinds of helpful things.  It’s a good kind of tired though, and nice to know that the boxes needing to be unpacked is getting smaller and smaller.

Sir has run out to get batteries for our thermostat, so the air conditioner will work and we won’t have a heat stroke over night.   Needless to  say, i appreciate that a lot.

But sitting here waiting for him to get back, I had a sudden memory of how it feels to have someone stroke my hair, gently pushing it back from my face.  I had such an urge to feel that again, it was almost overwhelming.  And for just a moment, i felt my “little girl” deep inside me.  (There ya go, Jade.  Not “good girl” energy, but “little girl” energy.  That’s close, right?)

Date night is Friday night, maybe i’ll mention it.

 

 

Mindful

I just started an online class on Mindfulness.  It’s an 8 week program, modeled after the program that Jon Kabat-Zinn does in Massachusetts.   I’ve imagined ways to get to the program there, but it has stayed a distant fantasy.  This program (which is free!) is going to be my substitute.  I am pretty excited.

In the meantime, my daughter and the grands are here, and settling in.  This is going to be an adventure in multi-generational households, and i’m excited about that too.  It’s been a bit unsettling for the rhythm of kink that Sir and i had just begun, but date night is Friday this week, and we will just have to make it flow as best we can.

I think it’s a little bit difficult for me to hold the idea of pleasing him with my submissive self separate from him being pleased in the household.  The reality is that children tend to be a bit noisy and messy and not always do what they’re told the first time.  He knows that, and would be the first to agree with that – and still doesn’t always enjoy experiencing it.  i need to make sure that i’m not trying to manage that discomfort for him or to manage the kids and my daughter so that he’s not uncomfortable.  Hence the need for some mindfulness.

Paying attention with intention in a non-judgmental way.

Which is another way of saying they can be noisy and messy and he can have feelings about that.  I don’t have to judge it – it’s not really good or bad.  And I don’t necessarily have to do anything about any of it.  It’s not my job to change how they are.

Ha – I say that, and I immediately want to start qualifying when it’s TOO much noise or mess, or when his feelings are TOO strongly expressed or i think they’re unreasonable.  Nope.  I am free to intervene if and when i want too, but that’s not my starting place.  It is ok for them to be who they are.  The kids have a mother; Sir is in control of himself.  (And he’s not usually loud or angry.  Thank goodness.)

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