Sharing stories

Sometimes i share things here just because it’s something i wouldn’t talk about anywhere else.  For example:

CN:  Dental issues

Wednesday night, i cracked a tooth.  Ok, it might be a crown, but in any case, it cracked. It didn’t come out or anything, it just cracked and any pressure on it feels like it is going to finish falling apart and that would be bad.  So you might think that i called the dentist and took off work Thursday to take care of it.

But no.  i did not do that.  i needed to go out of town for a meeting that i didn’t think i could reschedule any time soon, the tooth wasn’t bothering me, and i figured i’d get it taken care of Friday.

Only i forgot my dentist is closed on Friday.  And i didn’t want to go to an emergency dentist because they cost a fortune.  So i decided it could wait til Monday – only my dentist couldn’t actually get me in on Monday, so here it is Tuesday, and i finally have an appointment this morning.

But in the meantime, i’ve been limited to soft, easy to chew, non-crunchy food.  There’s still no pain, i just have to eat really slowly and carefully.  Even as i write this, i’m waiting for some cereal to get soggy.  (It’s Quaker Oat Squares, and i’m wondering if they’ll ever lose their crunch.)

It’s been interesting.  Apparently, i can be satisfied with much less food than i had thought and still feel good.  Apparently, when i eat slowly and carefully, i appreciate my food more.  It is, after all, a version of eating mindfully.  And apparently if i eat less – wait for it – drum roll –  i actually lose weight!!

Two or three pounds so far.


So there’s the silver lining to the cracked tooth or crown.  The real question is whether i can maintain the pattern, even to some extent, once my tooth is fixed. Right now, it seems easy, but once i am able to enjoy the crunch of Doritos again?  Can i sustain this life change?

Who knows?  Only time will tell…  Stay tuned as our heroine faces new challenges every day…

(P.S. Apparently Quaker Oat Squares actually never completely lose their crunch.  How can that be???)


At the Grocery

i’m in line at the grocery – in front of me is an ordinary looking woman, brown hair, wearing jeans, maybe in her mid-thirties.  The cashier is a tall black man whose accent suggests he may be from Africa – or somewhere rather than the US.

i tell you these things merely to set the stage – it could have been any woman and any cashier.

i’m putting my groceries on the conveyor, barely half listening to them.  The cashier says something, a question, the woman replies, “Oh, did you say – what is this for?  It’s – well, it’s ginger.” Something in her voice makes me glance up as she goes on, “It’s, well I use it for ginger ale, I – you know – I make my own.  With, you know, seltzer water.”

And i am catapulted back into time – that time i was tasked with buying a cucumber – such an innocent vegetable – and the anxiety i enjoyed around it.  Feeling convinced that the cashier and anyone in line with me would know this was a cucumber with a nefarious destiny.  It makes me smile, standing in line at the grocery, remembering.

But what about this women in front of me – what do you think?  Does she really make her own ginger ale?  Or is there figging in her future?

We’ll never know…




Have y’all seen this?


From the website:

Scientists and researchers have uncovered the inner workings of almost everything in the world. But the only funded large-scale sex research has either been biological (the physiology of what happens in the body during sex) or behavioral (general activities without the details, like the percentage of women who have orgasms or use vibrators). So what about the actual techniques and insights that women across the country discover that lead to more pleasure? That’s still an uncharted frontier, when it comes to science and research.

So we conducted the first-ever large-scale studies to get the details. And we’ll continue to do more and more research about sexual pleasure. The first batch of insights makes up the basis of Season One of OMGYes – breaking down the main ways women vary in how they find pleasure, and insights for women, men and couples about how to make it even better.

You have to buy it to get access to all of the features.  It’s $30.

i am on a self-imposed budget, because my new lifestyle includes less cash, at least for a while.

It’s only $30.

I already bought an $11 book this morning which was also not in my budget.

But look – it’s early bird pricing.  It’s a one-time cost.  And it’s only $30.

I mean.  Look at this:

Women’s sexual pleasure has hidden in the shadows for too long. It’s time to get it all out in the open.

There’s so much that’s been left unsaid, unasked, and unknown. All because of a taboo that, we believe, will look absurd in a few decades—the same way taboos from the 1950’s about oral sex and homosexuality are absurd to us now. We want to accelerate that transition.

OMGYes is an entirely new way to explore fascinating, useful and fun information that’s been uncovered in new research. Let’s lift the veil and take an honest look at the specific ways women actually find pleasure.

How can i NOT buy it???

Self-discipline.  Being able to say no.  There’s virtue in setting limits and being able to stick to them.

It’s $30.  Only $30…

{Wanders off muttering… To buy or not to buy.  That is the question  Whether tis wiser to…}

Look it’s me!

i feel like tiptoeing back into my blog here – into my blog?  or onto?  I don’t know.  Either way, here i am.  A little bit embarrassed cause i’ve been gone so long.  i don’t know why, i have just not felt it.

i have lost all libido.  Which is kinda sad – a libido’s a good thing to have, right?

Yeah.  Sigh… i can’t even work up any enthusiasm for self-pleasuring.

i might have been pretty triggered by the Donald Trump crap too.  So many people were, and so many people shared their own stories of having been sexually assaulted, with such bravery.  But it was super triggering.

Anyhow.  Some big transitions coming up in my life, and i’m excited and scared, eager and anxious.

i will have more time unscheduled and am trying to decide if i should:

  1.  Schedule that time in new ways that are productive – for example, i could spend an hour or two a day working on my kinky novel and maybe finish it.
  2. Schedule that time in activities that promote self-care, on the premise it will lead to improved quality of life and eventually increased productivity.
  3. Don’t schedule anything and see how i feel or see what happens.
  4. Some ideal combination of the three that will be balanced and satisfying.

I think number 4 sounds ideal but i don’t think it’s necessarily realistic.  If you have words of wisdom, by all means share them.