A Bonus

If my new life plans work out – which would involve retiring from one of my jobs, continuing the other one, which is about 30 hours/ week, and moving to a warmer part of the country – if that works out, i would be able to get involved with a kink community again.

You have no idea how exciting that idea is to me.

i didn’t even think about that aspect when i started thinking about this life change, but now that it’s occurred to me – super excited doesn’t even express it.




Oh my goodness…

It’s still a whirlwind of wonderful grandkids here, and of course my delightful daughter, but with a few moments respite, i decided i needed to be here (rather than doing dishes or laundry or even taking a nap.)

Here’s some exciting news – Sin is back!  Nooooo, not that kind of sin, that kind never left, but Sin the blogger.  Here’s the link:  Finding My Submission  Sin is one of my friends from a former life, and i’m so glad she’s back in the blogosphere!

In other news, i think i’m on the verge of some big changes in my vanilla life, and while i won’t talk much about that here, still, i feel like my work of discernment has just paid off and i have some radical ideas about what to do next with “my one wild and precious life.”

And i saw this today, which made me laugh.


You can guess which kind is more the kind i am.


Gone fishing…

Not really – i don’t fish, but i am on vacation and since i missed the last two days here, and don’t have time to do a “real” post today, and probably won’t tomorrow either, have decided to just be ok with that.

So you all can imagine me here:


Although really, i’m here:


Ok, maybe somewhere between that and this:


Anyhow – i’ll be back soon.  ❤

Here’s a twisted view…

i’m sure we’ve all seen those posts on FB where they talk about the good old days “when we were kids.”  i saw one the other day, posted by someone i knew in high school. They’ve always annoyed me, but this time it actually pissed me off – i don’t know why.

Here’s the meme she posted -my additions are in italics…

I was born and raised in Where-i-Live in A Neighborhood…. I grew up in the South East part of the city. I went to school at Somewhere HS.  We walked everywhere without any fear. One time, when my friend and I were walking home from school, someone asked us for directions. When we walked over to his car, he was masturbating.  We laughed about it, but it felt pretty gross and awful.  Sometimes men in cars would follow us and say things to us, trying to get us to get in their cars.  One time we had to run from some guys.  We had skates, bikes 🚲 and Mini bikes . Played Softball ⚾️, football and basketball kickball, jacks, dodge ball, jump rope, hop scotch, tag, hide and seek, Kick the Can and much more.  (i played some of those games as a child, but none of them in high school.  My memories of school sports are mostly connected to “last one picked for the team.”) We played in the streets when it rained . We had an ice cream man, candy lady and a Neighborhood store. The neighbors watched and disciplined us if needed. (We lived in an apartment building. One of our neighbors was a young man who tried to molest my younger sister.  One of our neighbors was a couple who used to fight loudly.  One time she had a black eye.  Some of our neighbors were nice, but none of them were looking out for me.)  We watched out for each other, not trying to hurt, harm or kill one another. We caught LIGHTNING BUGS. We went swimming 🏊 in the public pools and played in the parks without fear of being shot or killed. (By the time we hit puberty, bathing suits were a cause for leers and sometimes comments.)  We went on family vacations every summer. We got dirty, ate whatever our mom cooked, no questions asked or we didn’t eat. (i remember being forced to sit at the table until i “cleaned my plate” when i was real little, and feeling like i just wanted to die.)  We drank water from the water hose (and the faucet), ate fruit from the trees, ate honeysuckle from the vines we ate raw cookie dough and licked the cake mix off beaters . We climbed trees, and went to church on Sunday. We went camping.  (i hated camping, my poor mother used to drag me until i got old enough to stay home while she and my sister went.  i liked church, mostly because there were some really cute guys there.  One of our priests molested a friend of mine.  Lots of kids were molested by priests, teachers, coaches, and family members.  No one talked about it.)  And we weren’t afraid of anything. When the SUN SET or the street lights came on it was CURFEW.  (Except for those times me and my best friends snuck out of the house after my mom went to sleep, looking for adventure.  That was where i met the man who molested me.)  CHICKEN was FRIED. (Probably by your stay-at-home Mom who couldn’t get a credit card unless her husband or father signed for her.)  Oh and you better not DISRESPECT your ELDERS! (Cause in some families that meant you got whipped with a belt.  Or you were already being beaten for little or no reason and that just made it worse.)  We had real friends and we all were family. The word family and friends meant something back then. (Different things to different people though.)  Those were the Days.  (In some ways.  NOT so much in other ways.)
Re-post if you’re proud that you came from a place you will never forget!

So, i didn’t want to share those bitter truths on FB – thought i’d dump it on y’all instead.  Thanks, that made me feel better.    🙂


Sometimes, if i’m very still  and if i let my mind slip back, back, back in time, sometimes

i can still feel the rope, soft, cotton rope, snaking over my skin as he wrapped me,

like a package, a parcel, tied me up.


Shibari, like a whisper,the rope between my legs, the knot right there – yes, there, laying

on my clit, so when i moved – it rubbed – exquisite discomfort.  The rope snug enough that

when he unwound me, the imprint lingered on my skin.

i remember, even though it seems so far away, even like it happened to someone else, but

my skin remembers.









May i be peaceful…

May i be happy…

May i be safe…

May i awaken to the light of my true nature…

May i be free…





May you be peaceful…

May you be happy…

May you be safe…

May you awaken to the light of your true nature…

May you be free…






Sunday Check-in 7-17

“To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to the violence of our times.”

     – Thomas Merton

Not much time today – i think i’ve been checking in the last couple of days anyhow.  Nothing much new to say here.  Here’s another thought for the day:

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”

     – Thomas Merton